A Christmas Story, from Washington D.C.

Merry Christmas, from Kansas Farmer.

Published on: Dec 25, 2007

'Twas the night before Christmas, on Capitol Hill
Where Congress had yet to pass a Farm Bill;

In D.C. a conference committee would meet,
To hash out a law before Christmas Retreat.

Rep. Peterson and Sen. Harkin together had huddled,
A half-hearted attempt before it was scuttled.

"Nuts," cried Peterson, whose hard line would stand firm.
"We must have a safety net!" He made Harkin squirm.

Such a rule, of course, simply makes good sense,
But money is tight, and all that federal nonsense.

"Curses," Harkin fumed, for he hadn't foreseen,
that CSP - his baby – would become a pipedream.

The party was gridlocked, and the clock was still ticking!
A hiatus was due; the Bill, barely kicking.

Angry and mad, the two began packing,
To head home and begin their holiday snacking.

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
The committee rushed to see what was the matter.

What to their wondering eyes should appear,
It was Barry Flinchbaugh, who had Santa's sleigh commandeered.

"I've been a part of this game now since I was a pup.
"And you ding-a-lings are both messing it up!

"It's really quite simple," Flinchbaugh said in a loud tone.
"Just listen to me and get this damn thing done!"

Holding Peterson still with the crook of his cane,
the great policy expert put Harkin to shame.

"No partisan politics, you should lean to the right.
"Now you two compromise, and do it tonight!"

Humbly and swiftly, the two leaders agreed.
But President Bush – he must sign off on the deed!

"No problem," cried Flinchbaugh, "I have a solution.
"See this here sleigh? Takes ethanol. No pollution!"

With reigns in his hands, and cigar in his mouth,
Flinchbaugh and gang steered the sleigh south.

In Crawford, Texas, George W. was advised,
Soon he would have a Farm Bill to sign.

Holding eggnog and cookies, to the door George appeared.
He was ready to right the wrongs of last year.

Pen in hand, the document did President Bush sign.
The bill was now law, and in the nick of time!

"Flinchbaugh, you have done us all a great deed,"
said our nation's leader, President 43.

"Won't you join me inside, 'round the fireplace,
and celebrate Christmas, Texas style?"

Flinchbaugh declined; for he had to leave.
Santa needed his sleigh. He was becoming quite peeved!

He sprang to the sleigh and as he drove out of sight,
He exclaimed, "Thank you farmers. Merry Christmas. Good Night!"