It's Time We Had a Reality T.V. Show About Farming

Prairie Gleanings

I think America is ripe for a reality t.v. show about farming. Of course, it couldn't actually be reality, that's way too boring.

Published on: March 19, 2012
Later this month, I’ll be descending into the wilderness for a survival weekend. Well, sort of. It’s more like a camping weekend, with a survival clinic.

To prepare myself mentally for the rigors of eating termites and sleeping on the rocky Missouri ground, I’ve been watching the Discovery Channel’s vast lineup of survival shows. To my great dismay, apparently all is not as it seems.

Famed British survivalist Bear Grylls’ Man vs. Wild show was recently cancelled. The official word is a contract dispute caused the breakup. From browsing the internet chatter, it seems folks had caught on that the program was a farce. It did seem counterintuitive to run like a ninny through the jungle, burning loads of calories in the process.

Last week, I found a new program, Dual Survival. It features two experts with different survival backgrounds living off the land for a few days in a desolate location. Dave Canterbury is a military-trained expert hunter and tracker. Cody Lundin is a minimalist/hippy type.

Early on, they made a big deal about how Lundin doesn’t wear shoes. It’s part of his life credo. Fine by me. But, then why did I catch a glimpse of sandals on his feet as he’s trekking down a rocky incline in the Dominican Republic?!

This got me thinking. We’ve got reality shows on everything from buying wedding dresses to playing businessman with Donald Trump. Why not a farming reality show? I think I could take a crack at this. However, it could only have a small semblance of farming reality. Here’s what I’m thinking.

Episode 1: We’ll start with some basic introduction of the farm family. We’ll need to have a multi-generational group. Really playing up the generational tensions will be important for ratings.

First off, we’ll need to have junior nearly get into a fist fight with dad over whether or not it’s too wet to plant. Junior will go rogue, and then bury the planter axle deep. Dad will come to his rescue. Cue the sappy music and a nice making amends scene.

Just imagine, we could take every aspect of farming and amp it up to unbelievable proportions. We could roll a few semis, set some bins on fire, throw a couple cell phones and run off wild bands of meth heads looking to steal anhydrous ammonia. And just think what we could do when summer comes: Reality Farming TV Cancun Style!

I can hear the Discovery Channel calling. Any farm family volunteers out there?