No Lipstick on These Pigs

My Generation

Remember a couple weeks ago, when everything political suddenly began to revolve around lipstick and hogs? As silly ...

Published on: September 30, 2008

Remember a couple weeks ago, when everything political suddenly began to revolve around lipstick and hogs? As silly as it all was, the Illinois Pork Producers saw it as a prime opportunity to offer up a little porcine education, sending something of a care package to the Obama and McCain campaigns.

 

The idea, said IPPA executive director Jim Kaitschuk, came about after the association received actual media calls wondering what would happen if someone tried to put lipstick on a pig. Really. Amid economic turmoil and a mortgage crisis, somewhere, some reporter actually took time to dial up the Illinois Pork Producers and ask that question.

 

And so it was that IPPA began compiling a package for the candidates. Along with a reminder to laugh and wishes for a successful campaign, the candidates received a packet of info about pork production, a "Nice Chops" t-shirt and the following poem:

 

In the land of politics and campaigns galore,

The rhetoric has shifted to lipstick and a boar.

 

Though putting lipstick on a pig may seem cute,

It's one thing farmers will surely refute.

 

It wouldn't be sanitary, it wouldn't cross their mind,

To apply a glycerin product -- derived from the pig's behind.

 

It's a noble profession raising pigs for a living,

A pig is an animal that just keeps on giving.

 

From bacon to sausage, pepperoni to ham,

We're even linked to your old friend, Uncle Sam!

 

But did you know we're more than just pork?

Our value extends far beyond the fork.

 

By-products from pigs make heart valves and plastic,

Crayons, insulin, buttons, even LIPSTICK!

 

Whatever you think of - bacon, lipstick or ham hocks,

Doesn't matter to us… we say, NICE CHOPS.

 

So far, no word from the campaigns, and no sightings of the "Nice Chops" t-shirt on the back of either candidate. But you never know, especially this year.

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